The moon has always fascinated me. It is both tangible and intangible at the same time. During the day it often seems like a holiday decoration that someone forgot to take down. At night, when it radiates the sun's light it seems alive, like a watchful eye. I think that our souls are a bit like the moon. There are many times when we are only a one-dimensional projection of our soul. We are present but forgettable. Then there are times when our soul radiates out for all to see and we become more solid, more tangible.
The moon follows a pattern, its phases are predictable because we have discovered the events that govern its changes. Knowing the reasons, however, doesn't make it less wondrous or beautiful. I haven't figured out the pattern that governs the changes in my soul yet. Perhaps when I have a better understanding of it I will be able to better appreciate all of its phases.
Right now I feel like my soul is the waxing moon. It is growing slightly every day but it's not yet at its full radiance. Too many people try to hide their soul's radiance, myself included. I suppose that's what the biblical parable about hiding your lamp under a barrel was about. It seems that if you hide your soul's radiance for too long then you risk extinguishing it completely. I don't want to let that happen so I'm trying to find the moments that allow it to shine out. Writing seems to be one of those things. Probably because in writing I'm trying to describe my soul.
One of the reasons I stopped writing for so long was that I didn't want anyone to see the real me, to see inside my heart and head. I was afraid that they wouldn't like what was beyond the outside projection. I continually changed the projection so that they couldn't discover the true me. But people can't love something one dimensional for long, so this strategy isn't satisfying for anyone in the end.
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