Acceptance

"Time heals all wounds". Those words are meant to comfort but the truth in them has often wounded me as much as the initial loss. There were days when I didn't even think of you and other days when I had the nerve to be happy, even though you are gone. Once I realized it, guilt stole those moments away from me. Somehow, it seemed like a betrayal or disloyalty for me to, not only continue living without you, but to thrive without you.

They say that acceptance is the final stage of grief. I realize now that acceptance is not just a matter of accepting that someone is dead but accepting that you are allowed to be happy without them. A few months ago, someone gave me a quote that finally makes sense to me. "There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept; things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.

Yesterday I realized that I had achieved that acceptance. Now, instead of feeling guilty about my happiness, I am offering it up to you as a gift. A gift of gratitude that I had the opportunity to know true friendship and now have an opportunity to love again, even more deeply.