Ice Jam

Spring is the most transient season. It is upon us before we fully realize it and it's often full of ugliness and damage. As the snow melts it exposes the garbage and debris that has been hidden for months. On Friday, the river was completely blocked up with an ice-jam. It looked like a glacier with huge chunks of ice piled up on themselves. The frozen river seemed deceptively still but under the surface the current was still moving, working away at the massive blocks of ice. A few hours later, the current did its thing and the ice jam broke, flowing up river.

I feel as though my heart is the frozen Red River. The last six months or so have been a time of change for me and I have finally allowed myself to thaw a bit. But my emotions have gotten caught up in a few ice jams over the months. I have questioned the value of allowing my emotions to thaw because it seems to lead to more hurt. I'm trying to look to nature to remind myself of why the struggle is worth it. I need to trust that below the surface the current is still moving and eventually, if I let it, the emotional ice jams will break up and my heart will be able to flow freely again. Right now, there is mud, ice and water everywhere. The ugliness is necessary before the true spring renewal can occur and in a few weeks I'll have forgotten this early phase of spring, distracted by the wonder of new growth.

Mother Hubbard's Cupboard

I'm broke. I haven't been this broke since my university days. When I go to the grocery store every item on my list takes careful consideration to determine if it is truly a necessity. In an effort to save money, I have been making a real effort to use the items that I have on hand in my pantry and freezer. There are many days when I think that I hve nothing to eat but with a little effort and creativity I manage to pull something together. What is surprising is that many of these meals are not only edible but they are actually quite tasty.

This made me realize that it is easier to assume that I have nothing worthwhile in the house and go out to the store or restaurant to find something better. Too often, I take this same attitude with myself. I too easily belive that there is nothing worthwhile in my personal pantry. However, I am discovering talents that I have disregarded and left to collect dust and emotions that I stored away years ago in my frozen heart. Some of them seem a little freezer-burned but they are still palatable. Hopefully, I will be able to make it through the old stuff soon and start working with fresh ingredients again. In the meantime, I have a new appreciation for the old stuff that I've stored away.

Texture

Raspberry jam on toast is a favourite snack of mine. But it can't be just any raspberry jam, it has to have the seeds in it. The more seeds the better, in fact. If the toast is mae from multi-grain bread then I'm really happy.

What makes this such a blissful combination? It's a series of contrasts that make the end result so great - the warmth of the toast against the coolness of the jam - the smoothness of the jelly against the crispness of the toast and the crunch of the seeds.

When I think about it, many of my favourite foods have thes combination of contrasts. Maybe it's time I take this lesson to my life. Without the lows, the highs would lose some of their magic. I need to start enjoying the texture of my life more. To savour the contrasts of people, events and emotions and pay attention to how they interact to create something more than the individual parts.